


A World With Color

by litesalted



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Chloe/Brooke, Description of dead body, M/M, Soulmate AU, Suicide, This is really sad, mentioned kinda, read with caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:47:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litesalted/pseuds/litesalted
Summary: A soulmate AU where colors show up when you first meet your soulmate. Except, Michael has seen colors his whole life but he had no idea who his soulmate is.





	A World With Color

**Author's Note:**

> Yo this shit is real sad, read with serious caution im warning you now.

Michael didn’t believe that people started out as never seeing color throughout their lives until they found their soulmate. Michael couldn’t remember a time he couldn’t see color. He’d been growing up in a colorful world his whole life and couldn’t imagine one without these beautiful hues. He tried telling his parents this but they didn’t understand since he still didn’t know who his soulmate was. But they knew that whoever it was, they were close. They had to be.

Michael didn’t buy into it for a long time. He lived his life peacefully, with a nice group of friends to top his high school career off. Most of his friends set off to find their soulmates, complaining how they still didn’t know what colors were and that made it hard to do anything in life. They all relied on Michael to help them match clothes and other things.

Well, they relied on him and his best friend Jeremy, who also had been able to see color since he could remember. Neither of them knew when color first came to them, but they were the only ones they knew who could also see color and not know their soulmate. They had tried to rack their brains for any sort of clarity but they never found out.

It wasn’t until later in life, when the group was spread throughout the country, still getting together sometimes during the holidays, that Michael knew. Michael lived in Seattle, working on a new game company. Jeremy was in Oregon, still floating through college, miserable with how things were going but he refused to tell Michael that. Christine was working herself into Broadway along with Jake. Rich tagged along since him and Jake were engaged, both being soulmates. (They didn’t realize they were each other’s soulmates until much later and refused to talk about how they could see color.) Brooke and Chloe lived together in LA, Brooke working in the fashion industry for some reason, and Chloe a gossip columnist for a nationwide magazine. Jenna was traveling the country singing.

It was a nice day out in Seattle, Rich had flown over to hang out for a weekend since it was tech week for Christine and Jake and he wasn’t allowed to be a distraction. Michael was making some tea, listening to Rich ramble about the struggles of New York and how he was upset Jake couldn’t spend as much time with him since theatre business started up.

“I don’t know, man. I feel bad for whining but also I miss spending time with my fiance and doing fun things together in New York. I’m happy for him, I always am. I’m so proud he’s doing what he actually loves, not what he was forced into. I just miss him, y’know?” Rich sighed as he took the mug full of warm tea from Michael.

“Yeah, I understand what you mean. Jeremy was really upset when I threw myself at my first game since I just didn’t spend time with anyone. Maybe Jake just doesn’t realize the toll it’s taking on your relationship, and you might have to talk about it?” Michael shrugged, sipping his tea and immediately regretting it.

“Careful, it’s hot,” Rich smirked. Michael rolled his eyes and blew the steam that rose from his cup.

“We need to all get together again. It’s been far too long, almost a year in fact,” Michael stated.

“People have been really busy. Well, except for Jeremy. How’s he holding up?” Rich asked.

“I don’t know actually. The last time we talked was a few weeks ago. He seemed kind of out of it, wondering a lot about his future. I told him not to worry about it because I knew he’d find something. We haven’t really talked since,” Michael shrugged.

“That, doesn’t sound good my guy,” Rich frowned. “You haven’t even texted?”

“No, I figured he’s been super busy.”

“Michael, Jeremy Heere is your best friend. If he’s upset about something you have to fix it. Why have you grown so distant?”

“Rich we don’t see each other every day. And he’s at college while I’m running a game company now. This isn’t high school anymore. I can’t be expected to track his every move anymore,” Michael huffed.

“Okay, no. This will not do. You’re going to call Jeremy right now and apologize. And then you’re going to fly to Oregon, to wherever the hell he is and take care of him because that’s what best friends do. You used to be inseparable. I’m not letting this friendship fall apart,” Rich snapped.

“Christ, okay,” Michael sighed.

Michael reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He opened it and scrolled through his contacts until he found Jeremy’s. He opened it and smiled fondly at the contact picture. It was from their last sleepover, almost a year ago. It was the night all his old feelings came back but he couldn’t let them out because he already had a soulmate. He wished he had told Jeremy so things wouldn’t have become so weird.

His thumb hovered over the call button, but before he could press it the world went dark. He awoke to being on the ground and Rich sprinkling water on his face, but it wasn’t Rich. Rich had a faded red streak in his hair and was wearing a blue tank top with jeans. He had pale skin with lots of freckles. The mug he was holding was red with a sun on it.

This wasn’t Rich. This Rich had no color, was all black and white and everything grey between. Michael gasped and sat up, frantically looking around his apartment. There was nothing. Not even the sun streaming through the window brought in color.

He shot up from the floor and ripped off his glasses, rubbing his eyes aggressively. This couldn’t be happening. He had known colors all his life, how could they suddenly just go missing? Where could they have gone?

Finally the ringing in his ears stopped and he could understand what Rich was yelling.

“-RIST MICHAEL WHAT IS GOING ON?” Rich finished. Michael looked at him with tears dribbling down his chin and took a shaky breath.

“There’s, um, there’s no more color,” Michael managed out.

“What?” Rich asked softly, immediately rushing over.

“I-I can’t see, any like, colors? Anymore?” Michael whimpered.

Rich immediately fumbled for his phone, opening google and searching frantically. When his eyes when cold Michael felt a chill run up his spine.

“Michael, did you know your soulmate?” Rich asked.

“No, I never met them,” Michael sniffled. “I thought you knew this.”

“Well, it says here that if you lose color, um,” Rich inhaled, “your soulmate most likely died.”

Michael stumbled back a few steps. He never had the chance to meet his soulmate and now they were just gone? How unfair could that possibly be?! He looked at Rich and immediately fell into a pit of sobs. His future was thrown away. Without a soulmate he’d never be able to see color again or experience true love.

“I-I don’t, understand,” Michael choked out.

“I don’t either, Michael, I’m so sorry,” Rich whispered, holding his friend tightly.

Suddenly Michael’s phone started ringing. He picked up immediately, hoping it was Jeremy. And it was! He felt a small smile creep onto his face as he answered. That smile dropped as soon as the voice spoke.

“Hello, is this Michael Mell?”

“Yes, um, this is he,” Michael coughed out.

“Hey, it’s Mr. Heere. I’m at Providence Portland Medical Center and-,” he cut himself off with a sob.

“I’m sorry? What’s going on?”

“They found him almost dead in his apartment. They contacted me, but your name is on the suicide note.”

“Oh my god.”

“He, um, just died. Just now. I wanted to call earlier but I was so scrambled and-”

“What do you need?”

“When do you think you could come down?”

Michael scrambled for his laptop, in such a state of shock he couldn’t possibly do anything but get there as fast as he could. He booked the plane leaving in two hours.

“I’m in Seattle but I’ll be there in about four hours?” Michael hummed.

“Alright, thank you.”

Mr. Heere hung up. There was silence. Rich was still unaware but knew enough to know that something was wrong. Then it all came crashing down.

“He was my soulmate. Jeremy fucking Heere was my soulmate,” Michael gasped. “AND NOW HE’S FUCKING DEAD.”

Michael lost all control he had. He sobbed so hard he couldn’t breathe and started to cough up whatever was in his stomach. Rich immediately started to try and hold him, to stop him from hurting himself, but Michael flayed around to the point of where he almost punched Rich in the nose. Rich then snatched the laptop and booked the same flight for himself. He then ran to Michael’s room and started packing for him.

Michael continued to wail and scream until there was no sound but the ringing in his ears and the storm in his head. His body was shaking so bad he dropped his glasses. He clawed at his throat, begging for air and begging for release. But there was no release for this kind of pain. And so he fell off the couch onto the ground where he screamed so hard he was sure to receive complaints. He screamed more to the point of where he vomited the tea he drank onto his carpet.

Rich came rushing back out with full suitcases. His eyes were red and swollen, and his phone was his hand, Jake and Christine on the line. Michael barely heard their screams over his own gagging. Rich waited until Michael was too tired to do anything but lay on the ground next to his vomit before picking him up and dragging him to the shower.

None of this was real. It was a nightmare. He’d wake in his bed in a cold sweat and Rich would be next door and they could talk for a little bit before going back to sleep. He could call Jeremy before it was too late and tell him sorry and that he loved him with all his heart. He could tell him that they were soulmates from the beginning and should’ve known from then.

But he never woke up. Instead he was being washed in a hot bath by his old friend who wasn’t Jeremy, in a bathroom made of nothing but a grey scale. He felt numb inside, the rage dying down to nothing but a slow simmer. Rich was mumbling about how they had to get going because they had a plane to catch but Michael barely heard him. He simply sat in the tub and let what little tears he had left trickle into the water around him.

Eventually Rich dragged him out and helped him get dressed into comfortable clothes. Then they both set out, Rich holding Michael’s hand the whole time. He was yelling on the phone to someone about them being late but Michael didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore. He let the numbing sensation take over his body as Rich frantically tried to get them to the airport as fast as possible.

Once on the plane, Rich broke down. The people behind them snickered silently but neither of the men, who were reduced to boys in their grief, really cared what people said. Michael held Rich’s hand as they both let the tears fall. Rich trying to repress his erratic sobbing and hyperventilating and Michael’s eyes refusing to leak anymore. The stewardess asked if they needed anything and Rich told her about the people sitting behind them and how rude they were being and the stewardess gave them a stern talking.

When the plane landed Rich once again dragged Michael through the airport, into the cab, and into the hospital. Everything was a blur. Michael couldn’t tell what time of day it was and he kept forgetting where he was. He tried to asked Rich to slow down, but he knew if they did he would throw himself out the window at the first chance he got.

As they stood in front of the door to Jeremy’s room, Rich let go of Michael’s hand and collapsed onto the floor, screaming Jeremy’s name. The nurses gave them dirty looks but didn’t stop them. Michael inhaled before opening the door quietly. It was dark in the room, save for the TV playing the local news.

Michael looked around and found Mr. Heere sitting in an armchair, staring into nothing. He didn’t even process there were people in the doorway until Michael helped Rich into the room. Then his eyes found the bed.

Jeremy was laying in a hospital gown, wires coming out of all parts of him. His body was pale with a light blue hint to it, his veins popping out as blue starbursts. His body was slightly swollen and Michael didn’t understand why. Then the stench hit him.

It smelled like all of his worst fears combined into one. He gagged and ran to the bathroom to vomit what little he could. He heard Rich screaming and the broken sobs of Mr. Heere. Michael laid on the bathroom floor and cried. It crescendoed until he was screaming in perfect pitch with Rich. Eventually a nurse came in with a counselor who tried to calm them down. Rich of course threw a fit and started throwing things before being told to wait outside. Mr. Heere continued to cry until the counselor found Michael.

He laid on the cold bathroom tiles, thinking back to high school when Jeremy really hurt him and left him in the bathroom at a party. He thought about the times he and Jeremy would play video games and laugh and smoke until they couldn’t see straight. He thought about the night all those feelings resurfaced and he kissed Jeremy. He thought it was wrong then, but now understood why it felt so right. And so he cried. He cried and cried until the counselor helped him sit up and tried asking him a few questions.

Eventually Michael couldn’t take it and started screaming like Rich did. They tried to make him leave but he threw an even bigger fit, threatening to kill himself against the bathtub if they took Jeremy from him. They left him alone but forced him to sit where they could keep an eye on him. So he sat, tears still streaming but none of it real. Everything was echoing too much, there was too much static in his head and he didn’t even recognize his friends as they slowly trickled in throughout the night.

When the body had to be taken away, Mr. Heere said he paid for a few hotel rooms down the street for them to stay at. Christine offered to stay with Michael, knowing Rich and Jake needed each other. Chloe and Brooke would sleep together, since they were married, and Jenna still hadn’t made it. No one slept, and eventually everyone piled in Michael and Christine’s room and they say in silence. No one cried, they were all out of tears. No one could scream, they voices were completely gone. So they sat, the thick air of what happened clogging their throats and leaving them hollow and morose.

Everything became a countdown for Michael. A few days until the vigil. A few weeks until the funeral. A few days after that until the goodbyes. A few days until his lonely apartment. A few months before he sold his game company.

A few months when he first broke down and attempted to end it all. A few years before he was able to find another job. A few weeks until his second break down. A few months in New York with Christine. A few months before he recovered. A few years until he was stable enough to live on his own. A few months until he finally settled into a place.

A few weeks before the loneliness crept in. A few days before his third breakdown.

A few hours until the pills trickled into his hand.

A few minutes until he was dead.

A few second left where all he said was,

“I love you, Jeremy Heere.”


End file.
